Do you also know this inner voice that often reprimands, rarely praises? It is exhausting – but we can also learn a lot from it.
Sometimes it’s a savage scolding, sometimes just a quiet grumbling. “You see, that’s what you get for that piece of cream cake!” the inner voice hurls at us, for example, when our sugar levels are far too high after a visit to the café and that we should take more time for live Casino Canada. Or: “Weren’t you supposed to be doing sports and now you’re lying on the couch again?” as soon as we let our physical activity levels slip.
This internal complainer is known in psychology as the inner critic. It is assumed that the negative voice within us bundles and reflects all the external critical voices that have judged us since childhood.
Formative Childhood
The sum of all experiences and beliefs from our formative childhood and adolescent years thus determines the tone of our inner dialogue. “We were not born with this inner voice as it sounds now. Those who grew up with the motto ‘First the work, then the pleasure,’ for example, will have a hard time just leaving the dirty dishes to take a midday nap. The verdict is usually particularly harsh when we haven’t lived up to our own standards.
Fodder for the Critic
A chronic disease such as diabetes, which is associated with clear guidelines as far as lifestyle is concerned, often gives the inner critic proper fodder. Patients who are critical of themselves are usually those who take good care of their metabolism anyway and are well informed about their disease. When it comes to self-reproach, however, new technologies such as glucose sensors also play a role, as they can overwhelm their users with a wealth of information and, for example, immediately display incorrectly calculated meals. Those affected thus feel directly responsible for perhaps not so favorable decisions. The result: remorse or feelings of guilt.
Motivation Instead of Reproaches
But can’t this annoying nag simply be turned off? No, you can’t get rid of the inner voice, it is a part of our ego. But if you listen to it carefully and enter into a dialogue with it, you will soon discover that this self-criticism actually fulfills a protective function: This self-criticism actually fulfills a protective function, it doesn’t want to harm me at all.
What is decisive is how one reacts to the comments of the inner jury. Do I let myself be thwarted and blocked? Or do I question how I can better adapt my behavior to certain situations in the future? Do I also let the inner voice motivate me? The right balance between self-criticism and self-care is the key. This includes: listening carefully. How do I talk to myself? Would I treat a good friend the same way?
Learning Acceptance and Mindfulness
Then comes the fine-tuning: What is the inner critic trying to warn or protect against? How can I get him (or her) into the habit of a nicer tone of voice? Especially with a disease like diabetes, which prohibits making decisions purely on the pleasure principle, a benevolent, comforting voice is helpful.
Through acceptance and mindfulness, it can be possible to adopt a responsible attitude, to let the inner voice sound like this: “I’m taking good care of you, we’ll make the best possible decisions together.” If something does not go optimally: register, do not sink into self-accusation. And ideally, develop alternative action patterns directly that are more likely to lead to success in the future.
